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Created on 2007-08-19 13:43:48 (#13630599), last updated 2007-09-05
5 comments received, 2 comments posted
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Basic Info| Name: | skin&bones00 |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1985 |
BioWow, well I never thought I could bring myself to this kind of level. But I am seeking an outlet for my emotions that could never be shared with anyone I know. I am a strong confindent person, people see me as a leader...someone to look up to. But throughout the past three months I am ashamed of what I have become. I prided myself in high school for always being under or about 100 pounds and never having to work hard at maintaing it. I was just petite, ate whatever I wanted and always remained the same size. Well, here I am about to go into my senior year at college a good 15 pounds heavier then I used to be. I don't want to be a wafe, I just want to have my figure back. The figure I know all the other girls wished they had. Now I am the one begging to have the figure of other girls.
I let myself go. Mostly beause I have never had to worry about what I put into my mouth. My biggest fight will be my battle to turn against food. Because I love it. I love french fries, bacon, eggs, butter, steaks, chicken, turkey, pasta, seafood. I love it all, I am upsessed. I became an over eater because food started to turn me, I needed to have it.
The biggest reason for this is because on my 17th birthday my best friend introduced me to something that has taken over my life in a way which I never knew possible. We smoked the fattest blunt and from then on I've been hooked. I occasionally smoked after that, but when I got to college it was an everyday event. Not even a habit, but something that I need. I am addicted to it, I know that and I can admit it. But I also know I will never stop because I just love it so much. It takes life's restrictions and makes me feel free. I smoke now on average three to four or more times a day. My initial reaction is the waitlessness of my body, I crave nothing and feel complete serenity. It's when my high comes down and I get those rumbles in my stomach which everyone knows as the munchies.
For me, I began to engorge myself on anything I wanted. Most of all, I wasn't really hungry but kept consuming the food. As soon as I start I can't stop. And no matter what I have never been able to fight the erge not to eat when I'm high. This is my hardest battle.
I let myself go. Mostly beause I have never had to worry about what I put into my mouth. My biggest fight will be my battle to turn against food. Because I love it. I love french fries, bacon, eggs, butter, steaks, chicken, turkey, pasta, seafood. I love it all, I am upsessed. I became an over eater because food started to turn me, I needed to have it.
The biggest reason for this is because on my 17th birthday my best friend introduced me to something that has taken over my life in a way which I never knew possible. We smoked the fattest blunt and from then on I've been hooked. I occasionally smoked after that, but when I got to college it was an everyday event. Not even a habit, but something that I need. I am addicted to it, I know that and I can admit it. But I also know I will never stop because I just love it so much. It takes life's restrictions and makes me feel free. I smoke now on average three to four or more times a day. My initial reaction is the waitlessness of my body, I crave nothing and feel complete serenity. It's when my high comes down and I get those rumbles in my stomach which everyone knows as the munchies.
For me, I began to engorge myself on anything I wanted. Most of all, I wasn't really hungry but kept consuming the food. As soon as I start I can't stop. And no matter what I have never been able to fight the erge not to eat when I'm high. This is my hardest battle.
ConnectInterests (3):
i hate coming down., i love getting high., i want control.
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